You can't win the ego's game

 

I have to write ✍🏻 something different than a recipe for this one.

I think I'm waking up. My ego is melting and I'm reflecting on the summation of how my life went. 

I was unhappy and lonely for most of it. Always lucky to have someone, but someone was never enough. 

Recently I've become aware that I can't win the ego's game. Sometimes people will judge me, and I can't change that. I have to quit being so attached to an outcome where I am liked.

I have to stop acting like someone likeable all the time. It doesn't work and it's not worth it. 

I've been suffering for years. Making progress, but still asleep. I see beyond my ego now. I see beyond the animation of this body. 

I'm not in a body, a body is in me. I'm not a person more than I am anything else I can see. 

I'm ready to let go of the story of me. I'm ready to see what lives when my character is gone. I'm sad, but willing to be sad. 

I want to wake up.